Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
