im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize