i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
