I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
