I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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