I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
