i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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