why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
