I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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