He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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