I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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