we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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