the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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