The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
