she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
