I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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