he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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