Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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