this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
