he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
