so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!