He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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