Intervention is following me on twitter.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?