he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My feet surprised me
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