the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my being single is dangerous.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
