She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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