I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
