i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You need a sexual gate keeper
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
