How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
