pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
