it wasn't lemon gatorade
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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