there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
