i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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