i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize