He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
