So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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