I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
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You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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