How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
