This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
