the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
