Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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