I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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