this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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