I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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