If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Umm I'm too high to move.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
