There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
