How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
