Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
