So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize