So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
