Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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