Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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