I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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