omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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