Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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