My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
